Saturday, September 22, 2007

Finally, Useful Research

i can has bacon n eggsA major advance is signaled today as doctors unveil details of a technique that will allow breakfast to be grown in the laboratory from human tissue samples. It will allow career women, or those waiting to meet the right partner, to delay learning to prepare meals for years.

The first stage of the technique involves removing slivers of ovarian tissue through keyhole surgery. Though just millimeters wide, each sample contains thousands of immature eggs. In the second stage, slabs, or “rashers”, of heavily marbled tissue are removed from the thighs or buttocks of the donor. The tissue is then frozen until ready to fry breakfast. At that time, it will be stimulated with hormones to grow the immature eggs and bacon slices into mature ones ready for use.

Researchers said the technique would be of "huge benefit" because women could avoid the process of injecting themselves daily with hormones to stimulate their interest in marketing, having to endure an uncomfortable trip to harvest the eggs in the ordinary manner.

Doctors working on the new method at the Tunnel Fertility and Breakfast Centre in London say different elements of the technique are already in use but it will take some time before the whole process is pieced together and perfected. Sadly, though the human reproductive system is well known as a source of yeast, bread for toast and English muffins must still be purchased at the grocery for the forseeable future.